The way to love
by Kiriin
Summary: Shuichi loves.. no, adores his classmate Yuki but never dared to get close to him. Then Yuki asks for his help and things get almost interesting for the energetic student.  AU- school setting


"Alright everyone, since it's the first class this year and want you all to write one page about what you expect to happen this year, or things you're thinking on the moment. It's not for a grade but I still want you all to take it seriously, so you can see what you expect from yourself, or what you want."

"Do we really have to?"

"Yes, you all have to, now get to work!"

**Shindo Shuichi, class A3 **

_-I don't know what to expect this year.. I could tell myself bullshit like this year's going to be better than others, but I just know that if I do that I'll disappoint myself. So I'll just tell things that are on my mind right now. I've been thinking things over and came to the conclusion I'm different from other boys of my age…. Because they, like, have interests in girls and football. I found out that I'm not interested in both of them and that's when I started to realized that there might be a reason why I don't like those things.. I'm just not brave enough to write that 3 letter word on this paper, who knows what happens when I lose it somewhere? They'll think I'm crazy.. I shouldn't have written my name on top of the page. Anyway, back to the point. I'm thinking that I might be.. different from my classmates. They mostly talk about girls and somehow that makes me uncomfortable, because I don't like girls. But.. Does that mean I'm.. I'm gay? Okay, not that I have something against gay people, since my best friend came out last year, being bisexual. I hang out with him a lot! He's really the best friend I've ever had but.. I don't know if I'm the same as him, by means of liking guys. Well… Maybe I do, because there's one guy I certainly get goose bumps from when I see him, __**Eiri Yuki**__, the number 1 jock in our school.. I tell you, when I walk past him and I see his smile I just… I don't know! It's so weird that I don't know what to do, Eiri Yuki is like sex on legs! If it wasn't for my status and me being shy, I would have stepped up and talked to him, but unfortunately… I'm just a nobody and extremely shy! The only one who knows I have this huge crush on him is Ryuichi, my best friend… And he told me I might be gay since I never had a girlfriend and I'm practically drooling over some guy... Well, there's one thing I know for sure._

_**I love Eiri Yuki.-**_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Shuichi sat in the school cafeteria during lunch break, taking some zips from his milk carton when he stared intensively at the table of the school's soccer team. Continuously drinking and sighing, like a lovesick girl. Something he could annoy his best friend with.

"Could you please stop drooling right in front of me?" He tilted his face up and beamed a glare at him. "It's none of your business."

"You're staring at the guy again, right?" Ryuichi said as he crossed his arms on his chest.

"So what? This is a free country, so I can stare at whoever I want." Shuichi stuck his tongue out and continued staring.

Ryuichi shrugged his shoulders and huffed. "Staring doesn't help you to get him, you know."

But Shuichi didn't react to that, nor did he agree. Of course it wouldn't really work out when he'd keep sitting there without taking any kind of action. But he just enjoyed staring at Eiri Yuki, the best soccer player and team captain of Tokyo University's team.

He sighed and sunk deeper in a daydream that existed of roses, chocolate and Eiri Yuki. The perfect combination for an almost wet dream. Which Ryuichi thought was disgusting.

"That's it, I'm going to go outside for a while." He lifted himself from his chair, all annoyed at his best friend. "You can join me if you're capable enough to act normal again."

But Shuichi waved his hand at Ryuichi, one of his common gesture that meant he had to shut up.

"Fine." With that Ryuichi left Shuichi alone in his little, dreamy world. How much Shuichi wouldn't give to make Eiri Yuki smile like he did right now, just when one of his friends told him a joke or told him something funny, he wasn't sure what it was.

He'd never been this head over heels for someone. But Eiri Yuki wasn't just a someone. Sex on legs was what a lot of people called him.

Girls, guys, teacher. No exceptions.

But like he didn't know he had zero chance to get on his case. He was a jock, a popular **STRAIGHT** jock. While Shuichi was an average, **GAY**student. The gap between them was just too big, to Shuichi's sorrow.

"It's so unfair..." He hissed quietly when he saw some of the popular girls walking up to him and brushing her slender, smooth fingers on Yuki's cheek. He bit on his lips, how shamefully jealous could he be.

The ringing of the bell brought him back to reality, but suddenly something occurred to Shuichi, something he'd normally never forget; He'd have maths class with Eiri Yuki right now!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When I entered the classroom I already choked on my own breath. There he was, the handsome Eiri Yuki, sitting at a desk close to the window. He was staring into space. Well, actually out of the window. He really looked so handsome that I thought I was going to die if I would stare at him longer.

Maybe Ryuichi was right, maybe I should stop staring at him all the time. I sat down as casually as possible and got my books out of my bag. Maths was my best subject in school, and I didn't only look forward to each class because my dream hunk was in the same class. How Mrs. Lee explained equalities and other math problems inspired me. Even a brainless piece of shit could understand her explanations.

But even when she was lecturing us my eyes would dart of to Yuki once in a while. As you might have guessed, he wasn't paying attention at all, what a surprise. He has all the flaws of your usual Jock-type.

I tried my best to concentrate, but how could I when Yuki was only a little distance away from me? Impossible. When I tried to copy the instruction Mrs. Lee wrote on the black board I felt something hitting my head. I rubbed the hurt spot and saw a crumbled piece of paper next to my chair. As curious as I am, I open it and read it;  
><em><br>"Queer"_

Typical. Not only hasn't it been long since I came out to my parents, my friend and my classmates. Teachers assured me it was the best to share it with class, but in the end it was an mistake after all. I'd receive such notes a lot.

Fag, fairy, sissy, homo and now queer. Well, they weren't really original.

It wasn't that the notes and the insults didn't reach me, because in some ways they always did. I just had to be strong and endure the little bit of them, waiting until they get bored by my neutral replies. I don't to grant their fun.

My eyes shifted to Yuki again, still inventively staring out of the window. I wondered what he was thinking about, would he be worrying about trivial things? The next soccer match? His girlfriend maybe? The thoughts of him having a girlfriend gave me goose bumps. I didn't want some girl to hang on him, I wanted to be the one hanging on him, of course.

Without noticing I had been writing Yuki's name on my notebook for like 100 times and had decorated it with numerous of heart. Blushing I turned it around and start scribbling the study material from the black board again.

Why was it so hard to keep my attention away from Yuki? He was just too good-looking not to notice..

Sometimes I hated myself for being in love with a popular guy like Yuki, for myself falling in love with guys while normally I should be drooling over boobs and bums. At first I kept questioning myself;

_"Shuichi, why are you different from others?" - "Shuichi, why do you like guys?" - "Shuichi, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GAY?"_

I've had a lot of troubles with myself of course, but my parents were understanding and managed to promise me they'd always be there for me.. Actually, I've always been the independent type, even though I'm shy. Poor parents.

My life wasn't easy, but didn't change after I came out. Well... Those notes aren't a change either. Instead of "Queer" they'd write "Nerd". I always told myself to be strong, so I somehow got immune to those insults.

Class ended in a rush, I quickly collected my stuff and dashed out of the room to go to English class with Ryuichi. I always told Ryuichi everything about what happened during maths. This time, about Yuki, the insulting notes and Yuki.

"They still do that?" Ryuichi asked worried. "Isn't it time to go to Principal Han or someone?"

But I shook my head. "Nah, that's like throwing gasoline on fire." I stated, quite proud of myself saying that. "Besides, like they'd listen to principal Han's preaching?"

Now I thought of it, we'd usually fall asleep during principal Han's morning lecture.

"Hmm.. You're right. Stupid plan." Ryuichi gave in.

Then, our English teacher, Ando-san, came in and told us to take out our books, but when I wanted to take my notebook out it wasn't there. I started to panic, I needed my notebook. And not just because my homework was in there... But my drabbles of Yuki's name, decorated with a good amount of hearts, were there! If someone would see that I'd be dead meat! I'd be beaten up by the guys of his team for being in love with their captain.. and the girls would chase me and hurt me with their high heels.

I stood up and Ando-san immediately eyed me, with a questioning spark in his eyes. "Sorry Sir, I forgot my book at Maths.. Can I go get it?"

_"Excuse me, Shuichi. But I thought I said we wouldn't speak Korean during English class." _

Crap! I remembered Ando-san only speaks English in class. Why did I have to be such a sucker in English. _"I err... I … Notebook... Err lost?"_

I saw Ryuichi slaps his forehead, of course mister smart ass was a English miracle. He'd always laugh at me when I would talk English and never help me out when I needed him, like then.

_"I notebook lost? What is that supposed to mean, Shindo Shuichi?" _Ando-san said, I thought he was mocking me. Of course he understood what I said before... He only wanted to enjoy my fail English. He's the devil himself.

I tried it again: _"I...I My notebook... I lost it.." _

Then, surprisingly, Ando-san nodded and told me I could leave to fetch my notebook. I was sure I had left it in Math class, so I headed over to the classroom until I heard someone calling my name in the distance.

"Shindo Shuichi?"

My whole body trembled when I heard a very familiar voice call my name. When I turned around I thought my heart would pop out of my ribcage. It was the super handsome jock, Eiri Yuki, with my notebook in his left hand! I covered my mouth to prevent myself from screaming out loud. Eiri Yuki.. Said my name with his mouth! I could die right there.

"You're Shindo Shuichi right? From Math class?" Again he said my name, I could cry tears of joy, he said my name twice!

I nodded my head slowly, still not recovered from my inner party. "Y-Yeah, that's me.."

The smile that appeared on Yuki's face made my heart beat even faster than before, I was scaring myself. Just the fact that I was standing in front of him, in a practically empty hall was something I dreamt off. "You left it in Math class, I thought it'd be better to bring it back to you before someone else takes it."

"T-Thank you.." I quickly took my notebook out of his hand and pressed it against my chest. "I-I... I need to go back to class now." I'd rather have said something like; "Thanks stud, how about we investigate that little storage room over there eh? What do you say?" But of course, I was too shy to even say something like that.

"What's the hurry, you have a hall pass right?" He asked with his low, irresistible voice. Seriously, I have to record his voice some time. Then I again have something to jerk off with.

"Y-Yeah, Yeah I got one."

"Good." Why did he keep smiling? Did he want me to die, or get a boner right in front of him? "Do you have some time?" Wait, what? Did Eiri Yuki just ask me if I had time? I wanted to pinch myself to find out I wasn't dreaming or not, but I was too anxious. I nodded and he came even closer. My heart beat like crazy and I could feel that breathing become more difficult.

I didn't dare to look into his eyes, instead I focused my eyes on the ground.

"So, Shuichi." Yuki suddenly said, I could feel his eyes beaming on my face. "I heard you're kinda good at maths, right?"

"Err... Yes, I am.."

"Hmmm.. I have some troubles with this chapter and if I won't pass my test my father's going to get me off the soccer team.. And since you're the only guy I know who understands Yuri-san explanations, I was wondering if you could help me out?"

I was flabbergasted. He didn't even know me personally and he still asked me to help him study? Did he even know about me being gay? My mind was overloading with questions, and for the first time ever I stared him right into his eyes. "W-Well... Maybe.."

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Maybe?" Then he laughed softly, the same laugh I heard when he talk to girls. Was that a good thing? "Y'know, think about it." He almost made me melt when he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "I'll ask you again tomorrow, okay?"

"O-Okay..." My world was spinning, not only did my dream guy ask me to help him study... He touched me... Squeezed my shoulder. I'd never, ever wash the shirt I wore again.

"Then, see you tomorrow, Shindo Shuichi." He saluted and turned around, so I could have a good view on his sexy behind.

I had to think fast, I didn't want him to walk away on me yet... And, What I wouldn't give for a few extra seconds with him. "Ah... E-Eiri Yuki! Wait!"

He turned around; surprised. "What is it?" A small grin on his face made me wonder if he already knew what I'd want to say to him.

"I.. I will."

"You will?"

Oh my god, what did I say? We weren't going to get married or something... Although I wouldn't mind. Quickly I recovered myself, trying to sound casual. "I'll help you... With studying."

Yuki's face lit up and he came closer again, his hand finding my shoulder once again. This was my lucky day. "Thanks man, I owe you a lot... It's kinda selfish of me to use you to stay with the soccer team.. Thank you." His godly thumb drew invisible circles on my arm. I nearly fainted. "Can we start today?"

"T-Today.. Sure."

"Sweet, then wait for me at the school gate after school, we can study over at my home." He said, the hand left my shoulder and disappeared in the pocket of his washed jeans.

"Okay..."

Then, our ways parted. And something occurred to me...

….

….

**I HAD A STUDY "DATE" WITH EIRI YUKI! **

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I was freaking out for my dear life, mentally. When all my classes were over something occurred to me;

I'd go over to Eiri Yuki's house after school!

When I remembered that I started to hyperventilate and had a spasm on the ground. Luckily Yuri-san came... no... _wobbled _to the rescue with a plastic bag for me to breathe in. It took me a few minutes to calm down, but as I felt better I thanked her and went off. To the front gate where Eiri Yuki, the hottest jock in school and my pupil for one day, would be waiting for me. I could already picture it:

I'd make a beautiful entrée and look him in the eyes sexily and whisper. _"Did you have to wait long?" _While batting my eyelashes intensively.

He'd grin like a hot stud and say: _"Too long."_ Then, he'd carry me, bridal style with a lot of kissing on the way until we arrive at his glamorous house and he lays me down on his magnificent, king-size bed.

As we would stare lovingly at each other I'd say: _"Will you make love to me, Eiri Yuki?"  
><em>  
>He'd hover over me and kiss me numerous times before he answers: "Ya, Shindo Shuichi, I'm over here..."<p>

Slowly I opened my eyes and saw I walked up to the gate already. Gasping I realized Eiri Yuki was standing right in front of me, staring at me with a weird expression on his face.

_Oh crap._

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As I thought already Yuki's house wasn't a house.. It was a damn _MANSION_. With my mouth agape and eyes big with disbelief I stood in front of the said_ MANSION_ and tried to think of a way to close my damn mouth and keep my eyes from popping out of their sockets.

When inside he offered me a drink, all casually and friendly, like he'd known me for many years. (I wish I had) But sometimes I could swear he was.. flirting with me? I mean, he gazed at me with such a suspicious look on his handsome, spotless face. And his godly hand brushed mine when he handed me a glass of Coke. You could say I was pretty confused, and still shy as hell.

So, we started studying, I knew all problems he faced with maths, as you may have guessed, he's the usual jock type. Good-looking, good at sports, popular and bad in maths.

And with bad I mean really bad. I spend the first 20 minutes on explaining one math problem, I felt like tutoring a 5 year old, but a _sexy_ 5 year old.

"So, if you count another number to the X and then divide it with 2, you'll get the answer." I told him, pointing out all the spots he had to look at. I lifted my head to look at Yuki's troubled, but beautiful face and asked shyly. "S-So.. Do you get it?"

Yuki bit on his lip, oh gosh why must he torture me like that. "Actually.." If he didn't stop biting that dreading lip of his I'd go insane! "I lost it by the … dive... how do you call it?"

"Dividing?"

"Yeah, that."

I somehow thought, maybe Yuki's head was so full of sports got Dyscalculia. But then again, he didn't seem to be ashamed for his blunders. Instead his face scrunched into a frown, was he actually trying to understand? Then I noticed how close his body was to mine. His shoulder merely an inch away from mine. I froze, I hadn't been this close to him before, I could hear him breathe, steady and rhythmical.

We continued the assignments for the next day, during the time he'd lean closer even more, his shoulder bumping against mine. I could almost count all the pores on his face. Damn he was so close I thought I was going crazy.

After 2 hours Yuki thought it'd be a good idea to take a break. He got us some drinks and snacks and sat in his enormous living room. He talked to me so naturally , as if I really was one of his friends. I'd always dreamt about him being like that, it made me so nervous I could barely speak.

That was probably why he was that popular, he really was kind. Something a lot of guys lacked in or even missed. Girls liked him, guys admired him and teachers praised him... That was far different from what I felt for him.

I _loved_ him, desperately I longed to be with him, the perfect man, athletic, good-looking and kin, that's all I wished for. If he'd only understand...

Back to homework, instead of trying to fill his head with too much theories we just made the assignments, and it seemed to work even better for Yuki. Within 30 minutes we managed to finish everything.

Hours had passed and it was nearly dinnertime. "I-I should be going... it's getting late."

"No, wait!" He grabbed my wrist... He grabbed my wrist! "Why don't you join me during dinner, I need to somehow thank you for today.. and my parents won't come back till 9, what do you say?"

Okay, so he asked me to stay over for dinner, alone, just the 2 of us, in his big house, without parents. God loved me. "A... Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'd be happy if you'd stay." My heart _leaped_ out of my chest, metaphorically speaking. I felt my bottom lip trembling as I tried to speak, damn why, why was he so fucking _sweet_, _sexy_ and … I only got an eyegasm by looking at him, an eargasm by hearing his words... His deep, warm voice... Oh no... Oh god no, even thinking about that gave me a growing boner. I started to panic. "I ehm..."

"Can you stay over?"

Yup... 100% boner material. Suddenly his usual face had turned into something.. So cute, he was like forcing two big puppy-like eyes on me, looking innocent! I bit my bottom lip and crossed my legs a bit, trying to hide the stupid hard-on as much as I could and nodded my head in defeat. Not that I didn't want to stay over, I'd be crazy if I didn't, but what if he'd see me like this? "O-Okay... I'll stay."

His innocent face turned into a devious grin. I was taken aback by that, just a second before he walked his way to the kitchen. "Let's see if we got something edible."

Together we tried to make something for the both of us to eat. Luckily I didn't really have troubles with cooking, but Yuki... He was a disaster... Not the less, a_ cute_ disaster. He'd mess up big time, I'd clean up and he'd apologize a few times, but in the end we managed to get ourselves something good.

Yuki leaned on the sink next to the stove, where I was stirring the vegetable soup. "Hmm, smells good."

I immediately blushed to a bright shade of red, his eyes were beaming at me, I could just sense it. But I tried to act like I didn't see him doing that, but due to the anxiety I almost made the food cook over. "Ah~ Ouch..." and burnt my finger to the hot soup pan. Immediately I brought the burnt finger to my mouth, tears were forming in the corners of my eyes. "Damn it.." I cursed under my breath.

Then, Yuki's hands rested on my shoulders. "Are you alright?" It was almost a whisper, with a sort of husky edge in his voice.

I gulped down a lump of saliva and nodded intensely. "Y-Yeah.. It's no big deal..." I got the finger out of my mouth and held it under the cooling water from the tap. My breathing had become so fast that I was scared to start hyperventilating again, like early that day. But Yuki left me for a second, and came back with a band-aid.

"Here, so it'll stop stinging." He took my wrist, _again_, and adjusted the band-aid around my cold, but burnt finger.

"T-Thanks..." I stared at my finger and pouted. Great, I should stop being so clumsy or I'll keep making a fool out of myself. I wanted to get back to see if the soup was alright, but Yuki had already turned off the stove and spooned the hot liquid in 2 bowls.

We didn't sit at the table, like I thought, but in the living room, watching sports. His eyes were focused on the screen, while my eyes were on him all the time. I didn't understand why he was being so nice to me all the time... I mean, the whole school knew I was gay so.. Shouldn't he know too? What if he didn't know?

And I was just making myself think he was trying to flirt with me? My heart sunk. I couldn't expect him to like me or anything, but still it gave me slight hope that maybe, just maybe, he was interested in me..

"Ya! You fool!" Yuki yelled at the keeper that didn't catch the ball on time. "You could have stopped that freakin' ball, geesh!"

I chuckled, he was such a child as it was about soccer. Something I never saw of him before. I blushed and made myself comfortable on his couch, the softness of the cushions made me feel a little drowsy. It was getting late and this time, when I said I should go home, he let me go.

But when I was standing by the door ready to go he wrapped his arms around me, his mouth so close to my ear I could hear him breathe.

"Y-Yuki... I need to go.."

"Thank you."

I lifted my head and turned it, I could see Yuki's closed eyes. My heart beat fast and I was afraid I'd turn around and kiss him... The urge was big, but before I had any impulse I let me go. I steadied my breath and bowed. "I-It's nothing... Just do good on your test, okay?"

"I will, I'll get a good grade for you, Shuichi."

"No... You shouldn't get one for me... But for yourself..." I bit on my lip, his compliments and sweet words were so unreal to me. "I'll... see you tomorrow."

Yuki nodded and stood by the door until I left the path from the front door to the pavement. "See you tomorrow." The last time I turned around to see if he was still there he just closed the door... But.. I could see him smiling before he disappeared behind the closed door.

_"W-What's that?"_

"Shuichi!"

I turned around and smiled, Yuki was running towards me, a wide grin on his face and a paper in his hand. "Did you get your grade?"

He nodded and gave the test paper to me, I blinked my eyes in disbelieve, did I really see a A+ on his math test? My mouth fell open.

"Yuki, t-that's great!" I lifted my head and saw his sparkling eyes, blushing I gave him his test paper back and smiled. "I'm really happy for you, now you can keep playing for the team."

"Yeah, all thanks to you Shuichi."

"Y-You're wrong... You did the most..., I mean.."

"Shuichi, could I talk to you for a second?"

"Eh?" My eyes widened and I suddenly feel even more nervous than before. "W-Why?"

"Because I have to tell you something, can you please come with me for a second?" His honest eyes killed me, so I nodded my head and followed him suit, to the back of the school. Why would he take me there... Unless he wanted to rape me!

I could kick myself for that thought, why would he ever wanted to rape me... I was a guy, a nobody and a maths geek... Besides, he had a reputation, jock friends and a lot of female admirers... I'd never fit in that world.

So, I was standing there, head down and hands in front of me, while he casually leaned against the wall, looking at me. "I want to thank you for helping me, without you I'd have got another miserable grade and I'd be kicked off the team.." His voice was gentle and soft. "Really, thank you."

"A-Ah... It's nothing... " I lowered my head even more. "...A-Anybody would've helped you.."

"Shuichi.."

"And besides... They wouldn't have kicked you off the team... T-They wouldn't want to lose an awesome player like you, they need you... T-The whole school needs you."

Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Oh crap, he was doing it again, it was confusing me so much. Slowly I lifted my head, only to see his face an inch away from me. I flinched. Yuki's thumb touched my chin and tilted my head even more, my heart was going crazy as his breath ghosted over my lips.

"I don't care if they need me." He whispered, if he wasn't holding onto me I would've dropped to the ground right away. "Because the only thing that matters to me is what _you_ think about _me_..."

_Brain dead_. What did he just say? Did he just say he cared about what I thought about him? I stared at him, eyes and mouth wide open and completely speechless. And the next thing I knew was that Yuki captured my upper lip with his. My arms dangled at my sides, my eyes darted close and my legs felt like pudding. _What was he doing to me? _

"The one I need is you, Shuichi." He broke the kiss and caressed my cheek, oh my god his hands were so soft. "I don't care what everybody else says about me.. Or thinks about me.."

"Y-Yuki... W-What are you.." I tried to ask., but I couldn't finish my sentence because of the overwhelming feeling that raged inside of my body.. Did this mean that Eiri Yuki... The most popular jock and the Mr Nice guy of our school, liked me?

And he answered that inner question with another kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hungry for his touch. His arm snaked around my back and he deepened the kiss.

I was soaring, on cloud 7 _with_ Eiri Yuki, a dream that came true...

Eiri Yuki loved me, loved me for a long time. Without me knowing. Of course, he didn't know about me in the first place, but when we started to have Maths classes together he felt something for me, but was never sure what I thought about him...

But when I left my notebook at Math class he got curious and opened it. Of course he'd see the hundreds of drabbles of his name, the added hearts and drawings of us together. That's when he knew our feelings were mutual.

Just to be sure, he decided to invite me over, for studying. What got me dazzled all this time, is how he could compose himself.. But that wouldn't matter now.

_Because the way of love, for our love, is yet to begin._


End file.
